A Day of Two Milestones

Today marked two milestones in our family.

It was Jacob's first day of Kindergarten!

And it was my last first day of sending a child to Kindergarten.  After 12 1/2 years of having anywhere from 1 - 3 of our 4 children at home with me 24/7, I am stepping into a new phase of life.  It's a bittersweet day because I know that things will never be "the same" again.  And yet, that's exactly what we've been training them up to do.  To begin to become independent, instead of totally dependent on us.  To become their own individuals.  To begin to make their own choices.  To take the things we've trained into them, and choose to either discard or use them as they encounter real life, and make it theirs, instead of ours.

Obviously, this is not an immediate severing of all parental influence.  Far from it.  We know that we continue to be the biggest influences on our children's lives for years and years to come.  But it is a step in this direction, and from this point on the steps will continue in that direction.  And, as we well know, the days may sometimes go by slowly, but the years go quickly indeed.

It is a huge leap of faith.  But faith we have, and faith we will cling to.  Faith that God goes with him (as He does all our children) every step of the way, even when we do not.  Faith that God is sovereign, and that every single thing that will happen in his life, has been sifted through the Father's hands.  Knowing that that doesn't mean that nothing bad will happen, but that he will not walk alone, and he will be given the strength to get through it.  Faith that God will take all that we've poured into him, mistakes and all, and His strength will be made perfect in our weakness.  Faith that God loves him, even more than we do, even though that seems impossible from a human standpoint, because who could possibly love a boy more than his mom (ok, and his dad)? Truly, only his Creator.

And that faith is what makes it possible to let him go.

And, in light of the 12th anniversary of 9/11 tomorrow, and in light of the fact that there are many other people out there who have lost children that should've started Kindergarten this year, I am simply thankful for him, and for the fact that I have a child to send.

So, yes, my life took a pretty major shift today.  But it's a good one for him, and since it's all about perspective and outlook on life, it will be a good one for me too.

Now, I didn't allow myself to even really think too much in this direction ahead of time.  After all, I knew that if I wanted to, I could think myself into one hot mess by the time the first day of kindergarten rolled around.  So, I simply chose not to.  Instead I focused on him, and how happy I was for him that he was so excited about going to school.

As a January baby, and the fourth child, Jacob was more than ready for school this year (us Canadians do school age cutoffs differently than in the States, so January babies are the oldest in the class up here). And he's been counting down to this day for awhile now.  In fact, he was a little confused when he turned 5 and couldn't immediately start going to school!  I had to tell him that he had to wait until after summer vacation, and that when the girls went back to school in fall, so would he.

Except that with the whole graduated entry thing, that didn't end up being totally accurate either.  The girls went back on Thursday, the 5th.  And he didn't get to start until today.  He was in the very last group of kids to start.

Two weeks ago he asked me how many more days it was - and I said 2 weeks.

Two days later he asked me again - and I said 12 days.  He said "12 days?!"  because of course, 12 is higher than 2.  So, I tried explaining that 2 weeks was 14 days so things were still going in the right order.

And as the number of sleeps got lower and lower, he got more excited.  Until finally, it was the night before kindergarten!

In the morning, he woke up just before I was going to go in to wake him, and ran into my room all excited for the first day of school.

He helped me pack his lunch (banana, 4 slices of marble cheese, sweet potato chips, and homemade chocolate chip cookies, with a cheese string for snack time), ate his breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse, picked out his clothes, and finished getting ready to go.

I miraculously managed to be ready on time myself, and after snapping some pictures (yes, we're in the fake smile stage), off we went!

The girls were excited about Jacob's first day too!

When we got to school, we found his spot for his outdoor shoes, then headed into the classroom.

We found his hook for his backpack and sweater, got on his indoor shoes, and I barely managed to get in one last hug and a picture of the two of us, before he was off to sit on the carpet and wait for his teacher.

Unfortunately, things weren't going quite so well for a few other kids this morning.  One little girl was screaming and crying as her mom tried to leave.  I felt so bad, for both of them, and was very glad I wasn't dealing with that, as that would've made this day so much harder.

And then one little boy came in, I'm assuming from off the bus, and when he said his name, they couldn't find it.  It turns out that he was supposed to have gone to the Immersion school next door instead.  He looked so lost and confused, I felt so bad for him.  What a bad start to school life.  I'm not sure why one of his parents couldn't bring him to school on his first day, but it would take something absolutely monumental for me not to do so.  I'm really trying to give his parents the benefit of the doubt on this one, but my heart broke for the little guy.

So, I was pretty thankful for how our morning had gone, especially in comparison!  In fact, I was doing great.....

until I started walking out the door.

And then it just hit me.  Hard.

And the tears started welling up in my eyes.

And right then, his teacher asked me "How are you doing?"  And I almost lost it. I knew I couldn't start talking or I wouldn't be able to stop the tears. So I mumbled something incoherently in reply, grabbed the baggie she gave me, and left as quickly as I could.  I didn't full out cry, but the tears definitely welled up, and two or three may have escaped on the walk back to my house by myself.

This is what she gave me....

We have such awesome teachers at our school!

Earlier in summer, she sent Jacob this postcard....

Thankfully I had to leave immediately for Coffee Connections at church, so I didn't have time for a pity party!

And, just over 6 hours later, he was back.  Running up the driveway, having had a fantastic first day of school!

I'm so proud of the young man he is slowly, but surely, becoming.

A 12 yr old's response to the Boston Marathon bombings

Emma's 6th grade class was given a writing assignment yesterday for homework. They were supposed to write about the Boston Marathon bombings, how it made them feel and what legal measures could be put in place to help prevent similar tragedies. This is what she wrote.....



I feel terrible. Those poor people who had to experience that.

One bomb. BOOM! Another bomb. POW!

I mean, how can someone be so cruel? How can you know there will be pregnant women, children, and so many others in this crowd and give them a big tragedy like this?

I think people need to be scanned, bags and pockets need to be checked before any big event.

Before each big event, the place where the event is should be checked thoroughly by police, because everyone needs to be as safe as possible.

In my opinion, I don't think cell phones should be turned off, because what if there's a sitter or someone watching your kids at home and there is an emergency and parents need to be reached? How can you contact them without phones?

Now because of this bomb, children go to bed, and live their lives terrified to go outside or scared to even live! People start worrying, ideas come into people's minds, and no one thinks they're safe.

We live in a cruel world.

Think.

Just stop and think.

Two bombs caused so much pain, tragedy, heartache, and fear.

Eventually the media will stop the interviews and reporting, and people will go back to their normal lives.

But, not those whose families were broken.

Permanent injuries, images being replayed over, and over, and over again in people's minds, lost loved ones, and scars, emotionally and physically.

Those memories will not be forgotten.

Those loved ones will not be ignored.

Those wounds will not heal.

Those tears will not dry.

Those lives will not be normal.

Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

Never, ever, ever will this be forgotten.

Too many lives affected in some sort of way.

But, we have to think, have to know, we are young and beautiful. Yes, there are evil people who do something. What needs to happen now is all those good people who don't do something, need to do something.

Let good power over evil.

Be strong and courageous.

Power through the evil, comfort the ones affected by the evil, and keep your head held high, against the evil.

Remember those hard times and let righteous anger build up inside of you, beat out the evil.

Because we ARE strong, and we CAN do this.

Remember Boston, Sandy Hook, and all those places.

When you think you're overcome, beaten and destroyed, think of them, and fight on.

Because we can change the world.

One million, starts with one.

If God is good.....

In studying for my post on my Bible blog for this past Sunday's passage, I learned something that absolutely blew me away.  Something I had never truly understood before, and I wanted to share it with you.

We presume upon God's goodness.  We all do.  Believers and non-believers alike.  We enjoy the blessings of family, air to breath, water to drink, food to eat almost like it's our right to have them.  And often with little thought or credit to God who has blessed us with them. (Except maybe on Thanksgiving - wow, what an appropriately timed post, right?!)

But the moment things go wrong, we blame God.  How could He allow this to happen?  How could God possibly claim to be good and then allow _____ to happen to me?  If God is good and powerful, then why didn't He stop it?

Not only that - how come the God we see in the OT is so wrathful?  God destroys all but Noah, his sons, and their wives in a flood.  God strikes down Uzzah "just because" he touches the Ark in an attempt to prevent it from crashing to the ground.  God turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt "just because" she looked back as her hometown was destroyed.  40 boys are killed by a bear "just because" they made fun of one of God's prophets.  And on it goes.

When I read Pastor John MacArthur's answer to that question, I was blown away.  Here it is (emphasis mine)....

Now listen, if you look, watch this, at the Old Testament with the New Testament in view, you're going to get confused because we live in an aura of the goodness and mercy and grace of God. And if you go back from that perspective, you're going to get all confused in the Old Testament. The problem is we feel that God is unjust because we are comparing His justice with His mercy, not His mercy with His law. Let me show you what I mean. We have to go back to creation. You cannot look at the Old Testament from the New Testament, you have to look at the Old Testament from the creation.

Now, God said this, "In the day you eat of the fruit of the tree you shall surely...what?...die." When God created He said, you sin--you die. The New Testament reiterates the wages of sin is...what?...death. The soul that sinneth, said Ezekiel, it shall die. You eat, you die. In creation, all sin was a capital offense. Any sin, God had a right to kill. Now think of it this way. God made man freely. Created man of His own choice freely. He made man to glorify Him. He made man to radiate His image. He made man to manifest His person. But man rebelled. R.C. Sproul says he committed cosmic treason.

Now if God freely made man and God freely gave man his life and God freely gave man the conditions to continue that life, and man chose to violate that, then God had every right in the world to take that life back, right? After all, He gave it freely. Whenever we sin we are striking a blow at God's sovereign character. We are misrepresenting His image and His intention for us. We are insulting God and does not He who freely gave life have the right to freely take it back if He gave the conditions and we violated them? Is that unfair? No...no, He gave the conditions, that would be just. He has every right to take back the life He gave when that life violates His conditions.

Okay, Adam and Eve ate. Let me ask you a question, did they die? No...no, they didn't die. Did they get justice? No, what did they get? Mercy. And at the moment that Adam and Eve sinned, God's mercy was activated and you know what else was activated? The plan of the cross because as soon as God was merciful to sinners, somebody had to take His justice, right? And the cross became a fixed reality. So originally every sin...now stay with me...every sin required death. Is it unjust by God's law to take the life of the rebel to whom God has been so good? No. But God didn't exercise His justice, He was merciful to Adam and Eve.

Now listen to me. By the time you come to the Mosaic law, you only have 30 to 35 capital offenses. That is not cruel and unusual punishment, that is an amazing reduction in the severity of God's judgment, isn't it? Because originally it was any sin and now it's just 30 to 35 of them. And who knows how many thousands there are. God is so merciful but by the time He gets to the Mosaic era He's reduced it to 30 to 35. And you know something else? Even in the case of those 30 to 35, there were times when God did not enact His justice. There were times when the people of Israel did all of those things and God spared their lives. He was merciful. Wherever there was adultery in a marriage, there was supposed to be death. But because they were so adulterous all the time, God permitted them to divorce as a gracious merciful alternative. And they were to die for idolatry but how many times did God forgive that idolatry? And how many times was He merciful? They were to die when they were committing fornication but how many times did God show His patience? They were to die when they murdered, but how many times did God seem to overlook it? He was so patient, so patient.

Now you see, beloved, that is the point. If you compare the Old Testament with the original created standard, the Old Testament is full of mercy...now listen to me...but we are so used to mercy, we are so used to grace, we are so accustomed to getting away with our sin, we are so used to not being punished, we are so accustomed to grace that we abuse it. And whenever God does do what is just, we think He's unjust. That's how confused we are. And that's how we despise the goodness of God. When God knocks down in death Ananias and Sapphira, we say, "Well, how can God be so cruel?" when the fact is, how can anybody else in that congregation stay alive, they were all sinners. You see, we so trade on God's mercy and we're so used to abusing God's grace that we are offended if God isn't merciful. And that's the truth. He chooses times not to be merciful.

You say, "Well, I still don't understand why He does it." Listen, I'll tell you why. Because it's so bad now and we trade so much on His mercy and abuse His grace so badly now that if He didn't give us those frequent examples of His justice, imagine how much more we would trade on His mercy without any fear of repercussion. The reason that God from time to time takes a life and comes down in severe judgment is because periodically throughout the flow of redemptive history He has to illustrate what should happen to bring us back to our senses because we are so accustomed to His mercy. If we didn't have examples of the consequence of sin, we would go on blissfully trading without a thought on His mercy....

So why are there throughout the Old Testament and even into the New, why are there those illustrations of God's instantaneous wrath? They're examples and God does those to show us what should happen to all of us and to build in our hearts attitudes of thanksgiving. Every day I live I should say, "Thank You, God, thank You for being so merciful and overlooking the sin today that should have caused my death and eternal judgment."

I'll tell you, we would never tolerate the insubordination that God tolerates. We tread on His mercy even with these examples, can you imagine if there weren't these examples what would happen?..

we are so used to mercy, so used to grace, that we think justice is unjust.

Thankful remembrance

Reposted from last year

Today, on Remembrance Day (or Veterans Day in the States), I am thankful for the countless soldiers who sacrificed themselves for the sake of freedom.

All sacrificed years of their life; all sacrificed being able to continue their lives as usual, to be with their families, to be there for births, first steps and more; all sacrificed the naivete of not knowing what war is truly like.

And some sacrificed through wounds - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

And some sacrificed through death.

I am thankful that they fought (and still fight!) for our freedom.

I am thankful when they fight for the freedom of other countries too weak to fight for themselves.

I am thankful they willingly fight so that I am not forced to.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Which reminds me of another sacrifice I am thankful for.

Romans 5:7-8 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus sacrificed the glory of heaven .... for us.

Jesus took on the sins of the world and endured the wrath of God and separation from His father - so that we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus sacrificed - physically, mentally, emotionally, physically - for us. For you. For me. While we were sinners, because we were sinners, because He loves us - He offers the gift of eternal life.

I am thankful because we are all incapable of paying the penalty for our sins and needed Him to do it for us.

Today, I am thankful for freedom - in all it's forms!

Homesick

I posted on my Bible blog today, and I wanted to share some of those same thoughts here today.

Psalm 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

1 Thessalonians 4:13, 16, 17 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope...For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Our lives are precious to God. And He knows the moment of our physical death. But our physical death is not the end - not for the Christian. And so, though we grieve at the death of a loved one, we do not grieve without hope. We know that we will see them again. We KNOW. And we cling to that truth.

To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. When our nephew Baret was so very ill and in a coma, and we did not know whether he would live or die, our girls asked about Baret and were sad for him, wondering if he was scared. I told them that he was in a coma, which was kind of like sleeping, and that for Baret, the outcome was going to be good either way. Either he would wake up to see his mom and dad again, or he would wake up to see Jesus. He would be happy either way. Of course, we wanted him to wake up here, for our sake. And God performed a miracle, and Baret did wake up here and we praise Him for that.

When Christians do die, it is often referred to as sleep in the Bible. A very apt description really, because our physical bodies are "sleeping". Our spiritual soul is with Christ, while our physical self is sleeping, waiting for Christ to return and resurrect our physical bodies to be reunited with our spiritual souls.

Once we become Christians, we are always in Christ. We live in Christ, we die in Christ, we spiritually live in Christ while our physical bodies sleep in Christ, we rise with Christ and we will live forever with Christ. When Christ returns, those who have already died will rise first, and then those who are still alive at the time of Christ's return will be caught up together with them as He takes us up to heaven.

John MacArthur speaks on this passage beautifully in What Happens To Christians Who Die Part 1 and Part 2.
Through the years I've had funerals, continue to have funerals of unbelieving people or funerals of believing people where unbelievers are in the family and the hopelessness is terrifying. The terrible sense of finality, no reunion, no future, nevermore the touch of the hand, the sound of the voice, never again, finality. To be so consumed in life with a person and then have the curtain drop so totally absolutely and finally is a cause for deep despair. The greater the love the greater the pain and it is the pain of hopelessness....

I don't want your grief to be that dead-end grief, that grief that comes to people because there's no contemplation of reunion. I don't want you to think that Christians ever say a final goodbye because they don't. That's a great thought, isn't it? You never say goodbye to a believer for the last time. There will always be another time....

Reunion is here, beloved, it is. It is also in the very terminology of 2 Thessalonians chapter 2 verse 1 when it's called "our gathering together to Him." As we are brought to Him we are gathered together to each other. There will be reunion. There will be a gathering together. And he says you don't need to fear and you don't need to grieve about it like people who are looking at a dead end.

We need to get that somehow deeply embedded in our hearts, don't we? That is our confident hope. Partings here are just brief. (emphasis mine)

As Christians, we believe Jesus paid the penalty for our sin with His death on the cross. We believe in the power of His resurrection, which means we believe in His power to resurrect us when He returns. And God has revealed that there will be a reunion, a gathering together where the dead in Christ shall rise first, and then those who are still alive will join them to meet the Lord and be with Him forever.

And then we will finally, truly, be home. As Christians, our souls yearn for heaven. And that yearning only grows the more precious family and friends go home before us. I already have my dad and two babies waiting for me, not to mention grandparents and other extended family. While we remain here on earth we will be homesick, but we do not grieve without hope. We do grieve, but with the confident hope of a future reunion. And what a precious hope that is!

Homesick by Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord, cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why, I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Easter makes Christmas - Resurrection Sunday edition

Finally, my follow up to Easter makes Christmas - Good Friday edition. (I also wrote a post back in 2009 titled The Truth About Easter)

The crucifixion of Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, the substitute for my sin, the sacrifice on behalf of the sins of the world - was incredibly important. In fact, just before breathing His last, Jesus cried out victoriously "It is finished!" because He had accomplished His purpose in coming to earth.

For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

So, if He already accomplished that by dying, then how important is the resurrection?

It is everything!

And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. 1 Corinthians 15:14, 15, 17-19 (emphasis mine)

The resurrection of Jesus Christ proves His deity and is the only reason we can have faith in our own resurrection upon His return.

If He did not rise from the dead than He is a liar (for He claimed that He would rise on the 3rd day!), the scriptures are false (for they proclaim the resurrection again and again), our faith is futile and we are still in our sins - and death is the end. If He did not rise then neither will we and we have no hope of eternal life.

Just look at the disciples! Before the resurrection they were timid and fearful. John was the only one who even showed up at the cross - they were all in hiding!

Nancy Leigh DeMoss says...
But then came the news of the resurrection and then the gift and empowering of the Holy Spirit. The combination of those things transformed those first disciples into a bold band of believers who were willing to lay down their lives for Christ’s sake. The church was birthed and it spread through the proclamation that Christ died for our sins and was raised from the dead.

A timid, weak, disbanded group of men suddenly became a bold team of believers willing to die proclaiming Christ's resurrection. People do not die for what they know to be a lie.

DeMoss continues to list seven implications of the resurrection - there is hope in the most desperate of circumstances, God always keeps His promises, death is no longer to be feared, our own bodily resurrection is assured, God has accepted and approved the work Christ did on the cross and therefore accepts and approves those of us who are in Christ (no longer any condemnation for our sins!), the power and dominion of sin in our lives has been overcome, and the very same power that raised Christ from the dead is available to us!

Wow - the importance of the resurrection simply cannot be overstated. It is significant beyond measure.

Why We Celebrate Easter
The birth was an event
The life only an example
Until the death gave them meaning
and the resurrection gave them power

Why we celebrate Easter

Of all the events that defined the life of Christ
A miraculous birth, test in the desert, supernatural baptism,
sermon on the mount, the working of miracles
The Bible commands us to remember only one

His sacrificial death

Why?

Why are we not commanded to celebrate His birth
or commemorate His miracles, but to remember His death?

In His birth, He became Emmanuel, God is with us
But in death, He became Saviour, God saved us
And in resurrection, He became Redeemer, God has renewed us

In birth and life, He revealed the possible
in death and resurrection, He made it possible

He became our example, in how He lived and loved
We couldn't become it until He died and rose

It was not enough that He was our Teacher
He had to become our Saviour, Redeemer

"It is for your good that I am going away...
unless I go away, the Counselor will not come" John 16:7

Without Easter weekend we only see His example
With Easter weekend we become His example
Without Easter weekend we're merely good people
With Easter weekend we're a holy people

His birth was the incarnation
His life was a revelation
But His death was our salvation
and His resurrection is our restoration

Easter
That's why we celebrate...

If you are a skeptic and need to see some evidence of the resurrection, I highly encourage you to purchase The Case for Easter by Lee Strobel (less than $4!) - which contains all the chapters relevant to the crucifixion and resurrection that are in his larger volume, The Case for Christ.

Thankful Thursday - Lest We Forget

Today, on Remembrance Day, I am thankful for the countless soldiers who sacrificed themselves for the sake of freedom.

All sacrificed years of their life; all sacrificed being able to continue their lives as usual, to be with their families, to be there for births, first steps and more; all sacrificed the naivete of not knowing what war is truly like.

And some sacrificed through wounds - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

And some sacrificed through death.

I am thankful that they fought (and still fight!) for our freedom.

I am thankful when they fight for the freedom of other countries too weak to fight for themselves.

I am thankful they willingly fight so that I am not forced to.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Which reminds me of another sacrifice I am thankful for.

Romans 5:7-8 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus sacrificed the glory of heaven .... for us.

Jesus took on the sins of the world and endured the wrath of God and separation from His father - so that we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus sacrificed - physically, mentally, emotionally, physically - for us. For you. For me. While we were sinners, because we were sinners, because He loves us - He offers the gift of eternal life.

I am thankful He died for me.

I am thankful because we are all incapable of paying the penalty for our sins and needed Him to do it for us.

Today, I am thankful for freedom - in all it's forms!



* Click on the Thankful Thursday button to visit our host and other thankful bloggers.

Did YOU know? Important ethical information

Updated from a previous post from 3 years ago.

This is a sensitive area of discussion, but I'm willing to take the plunge! I hope I do not offend anyone - that is not my intent. My intent is to inform, to encourage your own research (don't just take my word for it!) and to decide what to do with this information (remember - doing nothing is also a decision). I have issued the challenge - are you prepared to take it?

Virtually everyone I have spoken to IRL has not been aware of this - for some reason this news is just not getting out. So, I'm doing my part to spread the word!

So, I'm going to start by providing facts, then I will provide links to some research I have done, and then I will state my opinions - I bet you can't wait for that part! :)

The fact - one of the ways the birth control pill works is to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg. Assuming you believe that life begins at conception (as most Christians do) - this is a chemically induced abortion - a fertilized egg is a baby.

The pill works in 3 ways
1) The main way it works is by preventing ovulation. No ovulation = no possibility of pregnancy and therefore, no ethical dilemma. However, this is not 100% effective. Especially nowadays with the lower dosage pills being common, this is not anywhere close to 100% effective - which means the other 2 mechanisms often come in to play.
2) The second way it works is by changing the cervical mucous to prevent sperm from reaching an egg should ovulation occur. This too, is totally fine. Preventing fertilization is not wrong. However, this mechanism is also not always effective. This is when the other mechanism comes into play.
3) The 3rd way it works is by thinning the lining of the uterus so that should fertilization occur, it would make it much more difficult for the five to seven day old baby to attach to the lining in order to receive the nourishment needed to grow. If the baby cannot successful implant, the baby will die and be expelled from the body during menstruation - this is called a chemical abortion.

Assuming that life begins at conception, this is a serious ethical problem.

So, that's it in a nutshell. This is also true with IUDs, Depo-Provera and Norplant (in fact in some of those the abortifacient effect is it's main mechanism)

Here is some research...

The most comprehensive and detailed research I've found was done by Randy Alcorn who actually set out to prove that the pill did NOT work in this way. If you click on this link you can find Randy's article (I think it's broken down into 9 parts) as well as a host of other articles on the topic. Randy Alcorn interviewed everyone from the pill manufacturers, their pharmacists and physicians as well as numerous other medical texts and references.

Here's a few quotes from his article....

On March 24, 1997, I had a lengthy and enlightening talk with Richard Hill, a pharmacist who works for Ortho-McNeil's product information department. (Ortho-McNeil and Searle are the largest birth control pill manufacturers.)

I then asked Hill if he was certain the Pill made implantation less likely. "Oh, yes," he replied. I said, "So you don't think this is just a theoretical effect of the Pill?" He said the following, as I took detailed notes:

Oh, no, it's not theoretical. It's observable. We know what an endometrium looks like when it's richest and most receptive to the fertilized egg. When a woman is taking the Pill you can clearly see the difference, based both on gross appearance -- as seen with the naked eye -- and under a microscope. At the time when the endometrium would normally accept a fertilized egg, if a woman is taking the Pill it is much less likely to do so.

I asked Hill one more time, "So you're saying this is an actual effect that happens, not just a theoretical one?" He said, "Sure -- you can actually see what it does to the endometrium and it's obvious it makes implantation less likely. The only thing that's theoretical is the numbers, because we just don't know that." (emphasis mine)

And how often does this third mechanism come into play? IOW, how many chemical abortions are there every year from the pill? The answer will likely astound you. First to have something to compare to - there are approx 1.5 million abortions a year in the US. (not chemical abortions, "regular" surgical abortions where there is deliberate termination of a known pregnancy). It is impossible, of course, to give an exact number of how many chemical abortions happen due to taking the pill (it could be done, but the tests have not been performed) - however it is possible to scientifically predict the numbers. The numbers are shockingly high - between 834,000 and 4.17 million chemical abortions every year. See this article for details on how these numbers were calculated.

There are numerous other sites that state that this is how the pill works - everything from non-Christian organizations like Planned Parenthood (who recently revised their website to make it appear more theoretical), to Christian organizations like Crisis Pregnancy centre. All you have to do is google "abortifacient effect birth control pill" and tons of links will show up.

Here are a few more links for you....
Growing Debate About the Abortifacient Effect of the Birth Control Pill and the Principle of the Double Effect - written by Walter Larimore, MD (formerly on staff with Focus on the Family)
The Birth Control Pill Documentary: 28 Days on the Pill
Resources for 28 Days on the Pill - a huge list of resources used by the documentary
LifeSiteNews article - pro-abortion advocates confirm the pill prevents implantation of embryos
Review of Randy Alcorn's research book
"Birth Control" Pills Cause Early Abortions - article by Prolife America

In your own research, don't just ask you doctor and accept a quick "oh no, it's not an abortifacient" and think you've done your duty, even if your doctor is a Christian.

First of all, not all doctors are aware of this effect of the pill (Dr Walter Larimore was unaware of this effect, and it took a lot of his own time and research to convince him of it's reality). If they dismiss your concerns, tell them about this research and ask them to perform their own and that you'd like to discuss it again.

Secondly, not all doctors define life as beginning at fertilization (especially non-Christian doctors). Some define life as beginning at implantation in which case they obviously would not consider the pill abortifacient.

Frankly, I've been amazed and disappointed at the apathetic response I've gotten from many of the people I've talked to about this affect of the pill. The only reason I can think is that they feel like if they don't research it themselves they don't have to act on the information. After all, the pill is a super convenient method of birth control. Unfortunately it is birth control, and not conception control. Another reason for the "head in the sand" response is the desire for it not to be true. Believe me - I understand that desire. We used the pill for 5 yrs, completely unaware of this affect. And it grieves me to think that I may have unknowingly caused the death of a child. But, how much more wrong would it be to continue to use it blindly, after knowing about the possibility of chemical abortion?

One thing I want to mention. There are many women that need to take the pill for medical reasons - having nothing to do with conception. I don't see an ethical problem with this provided that an additional, alternative method of true conception control is used to negate the abortifacient effect of the pill.

So, what to use instead?

When done correctly, Natural Family Planning or NFP (NOT the rhythm method) is even more effective than the pill. It does take work, and you need to educate yourself in order to do it correctly, but it's effective - over 99% effective!

Other options include barrier methods, spermicide, etc. And of course, for the truly paranoid, more than one option can be used at the same time! :)

So, my encouragement to you (should you believe in life at conception), is to cease using the pill (or use it in combination with another method) and research it yourself. I'm sure you will find that the risk is simply too high - especially when alternative methods of conception control are available that work and that have NO risk of causing an abortion. I know some of the other methods are not as convenient, but is convenience a valid reason to risk a life?

I highly encourage you to read Randy Alcorn's book (available for free download in its entirety here).

If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer any that I possibly can. Please feel free to forward this to everyone you know. The word needs to get out. As in any medical situation, people need to be informed - especially since lives are literally at stake.

Lord, Liar or Lunatic

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to." (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, The MacMillan Company, 1960, pp. 40-41.)

You often hear people say that they don't believe that Jesus is God, but they do believe the was a great moral teacher or a really good man.

But that option is not open to us.

Jesus made some fantastic claims about who He was.

He claimed to have lived a sinless life.
So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me? He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God. John 8:28, 29, 46, 47

He claimed to be the ONLY way to God.

John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me."

Matthew 11:27 "All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

He claimed to have shared God's glory in heaven.
John 17:5 "And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began."

Jesus claimed to be able to forgive people's sins.
Luke 5:20-21 "When Jesus saw their faith, he said, 'Friend, your sins are forgiven.' The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, 'Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?'"

Luke 7:48-49 "Then Jesus said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven.' The other guests began to say among themselves, 'Who is this who even forgives sins?'"

Jesus claimed to be the King of heaven.
Luke 22:69 "But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God."

Luke 23:1-3 "Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, 'We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Christ, a king.' So Pilate asked Jesus, 'Are you the king of the Jews?' 'Yes, it is as you say,' Jesus replied."

John 18:36-37 "Jesus said, 'My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.' 'You are a king, then!' said Pilate. Jesus answered, 'You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.'"

He claimed that He could give people eternal life.
John 6:40 "For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

John 6:47 "I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life."

John 10:28-30 "I give [my followers] eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

John 11:25 "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die...'"

Jesus claimed that He would die and then that He would be resurrected - He would come back to life!
John 10:17 "Just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life--only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."

John 12:32-33 "'But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.' He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die."

John 16:16 "In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me."

Luke 18:31-33 "Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, 'We are going up into Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.'"

Jesus claimed that He would return one day to judge the entire world.
Matthew 24:27-30 "So as the lightening comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man... At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory."

Matthew 25:31-32 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep and the goats."

Mark 14:61-62 "Again the high priest asked him, 'Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?' 'I am,' said Jesus. 'And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.'"

Those are some incredible claims. And because of those claims, we do not have the option of accepting Jesus as just a great moral teacher.


The first thing that we might say about Jesus is that his claims were false and he knew it, in which case he was a liar. If Jesus did not believe that his claims about himself were true, then when he made those claims he was lying.

Jesus’ claims about himself were so central to his teachings, though, that if they were lies then he can hardly be deemed a great teacher. If Jesus set out to systematically deceive people about who he was and how their sins were to be dealt with, then he was among the worst teachers that have ever walked the earth.

The second thing that we might say about Jesus is that his claims were false and he didn’t know it, in which case he was a lunatic. If Jesus believed that his claims about himself were true, and they weren’t, then he was a delusional egomaniac. If an ordinary person believes himself to be God incarnate, then that person is, put quite simply, insane.

Again, if this were the case, if Jesus taught that this is who he was and was mistaken, then he was as bad a teacher as there has ever been.

The third thing that we might say about Jesus is that his claims were true, in which case he was, and is, Lord. If Jesus believed that his claims about himself were true and they were, then Jesus was not only a great human being, but was also God on Earth.

If we take Jesus seriously, then we must take Jesus’ claims about himself seriously. We cannot say that Jesus was a great teacher whom we admire and look up to, but that the most fundamental element of his teachings was a monumental error. Jesus was not a great, but merely human, teacher; he was either much less than this, or much more. (Existence of God.com)

Technically there is a fourth option - He could be just a legend.
Jesus could only have been one of four things: a legend, a liar, a lunatic - or Lord and God. There is so much historical and archeological evidence to support his existence that every reputable historian agrees he was not just a legend. If Jesus were a liar, why would he die for his claim, when he could easily have avoided such a cruel death with a few choice words? And, if he were a lunatic, how did he engage in intelligent debates with his opponents or handle the stress of his betrayal and crucifixion while continuing to show a deep love for his antagonists? Christ said he was Lord and God. The evidence supports that claim. (Who is Jesus...Really?)

Who do you say Jesus is?

Genuine Thanksgiving - Because I Have Been Given Much

I've already written a few Thanksgiving posts this weekend, and I was basically going to just post a Thanksgiving picture and call it a day today, but then I read my cousin Tammi's post and thought it was so perfect and I just needed to share it with you all.



Because I have been given much, I too must give.
Because of Thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live.
I shall divide my gifts from Thee
With ev'ry brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed, by Thy good care,
I cannot see another's lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
My roof's safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.

Because love has been lavished so upon me, Lord,
A wealth I know that was not meant for me to hoard,
I shall give love to those in need ~
Shall show that love by word and deed;
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

~ Grace Noll Crowell

That last verse always gets me.

Sometimes I think we content ourselves with simply SAYING thanks. We seem to believe that meeting the minimum requirements of the command to "in everything give thanks" is doing our full Christian duty. But these lyrics indicate ~ and I think Scripture bears this out ~ that if we're really truly grateful for the good things in our lives, most importantly our eternal security and satisfaction guaranteed by the redeeming blood of Christ that spares us from God's just wrath, there will be a genuine out-pouring of love for others manifest in our words and acts of kindness. That we will seek to be a blessing to others in the same ways God has blessed us.

On this Thanksgiving Day, let's remember that thanksgiving isn't just between us and God ~ it should affect (and INfect!) those around us, too. Not just in our words on this specific day, but LIVED OUT in our everyday lives throughout the next 364 as well.



Post stolen from Tammi at Laughing at the Future

13 Things to Look for when Choosing a Husband - Part 3 - Conclusion

If you haven't already, please read Part 1 and Part 2 of this 3-part series - 13 Things to Look for When Choosing Your Future Husband.

Here are the last 4 things on my list....


10) He needs to be able to communicate and he needs to be honest. Men, stereotypically, are not as good at communicating as women. But they can communicate and they need to know how to. You want to marry a man who is able to verbalize his wants and expectations. He needs to be able to hear your wants and expectations. And then you both need to be able to come to a compromise if those wants and expectations are different. Compromise does not mean one person has to give in. Often true compromise is both people giving slightly and meeting in the middle. Sometimes one person has to give in entirely, but it should not be that way very often, and when it is, it should not always be the same person doing the giving in. Both of you will be coming into the marriage with different backgrounds and therefore, different expectations. This is ok as long as you are both able to communicate your expectations honestly and then adjust them accordingly to make your relationship work for you. Honesty is always the best policy. You cannot trust someone who is dishonest. Be honest about your expectations. You cannot read each other’s minds and you can only work with what you know. Being shy and not talking are two different things. Even shy people are able to talk to those they are close to. It is essential that he is able to honestly communicate with you.

11) He needs to have a good work ethic. You want to marry a man who will be willing to work hard to provide for you. It doesn’t particularly matter what type of job he has (as long as it’s ethical of course!), it matters that he is self-motivated and a hard worker. This is especially true if you are desiring to be a stay at home mom when you have children. Again, this doesn’t mean that he has to have a high paying job, but that he is not going to shirk his responsibilities, and that he will work hard to provide for you and your children.

12) He need to be self-controlled. Self-control is important for so many things – managing anger, avoiding addictive behaviours and especially overcoming temptation in regards to sexual purity. You both need to determine ahead of time where to draw the line in regards to sexual purity. If he does not respect and value you enough to do this, then you deserve someone better. If sexual purity in regards to pornography is a struggle for him, he needs to be willing to have an accountability partner to help him fight this temptation – that is not something he will be able to do alone. You don’t need to find someone who is never tempted, you need to find someone who chooses to do the right thing despite the temptation.

13) He needs to be the man God wants for you. There are so many more qualities I could list, but the most important thing is to be willing to wait for the man God has for you. You are far better off waiting for the right man, no matter how long that takes, than marrying the first guy that comes along and being miserable for the rest of your life. And sometimes it’s not that there is anything wrong with a particular guy, but he still may not be the one God intends for you to be with. For ex – if you feel called to the mission field, and the man you want to marry is not, then that is not the man God wants for you. Waiting for God’s timing can be difficult, but it is always worth it!

Kiandra, my prayer for you is that you will continue to grow into a woman after God’s own heart. I pray that you will seek God when determining who your future husband will be and that you will have the patience to wait for His timing. Keep in mind, that even if you marry the one that God has for you, marriage is not always easy. The first year or so is often the most difficult as you are getting used to living with someone else 24/7, sorting through your different expectations of how your household should run, and just figuring out how the whole marriage thing works. A good marriage does take effort. But that effort is so worth it! If you are both focused on God, if you are focused on serving Him through your marriage, if you are focused on serving each other – your marriage will be blessed more than you could ask or imagine!

I have one last suggestion – pray for your future husband now already. Pray that God will mold him into the man he wants him to be. Pray that God will put people in his life to draw him to Jesus and to strengthen his relationship with God. Pray for his parents. Pray for his friends and for his teachers. Pray for him. Through the amazing power of prayer, you can bless his life before you even meet him. What a priviledge!


So, that concludes my 3-part series "13 Things to Look for When Choosing your Future Husband". Any big ones you think I left out? I know I didn't cover everything, but if there's a major one I missed, I'd love to hear it. What are your thoughts?

13 Things to Look for when Choosing a Husband - Part 2

If you missed my first post on this subject, please read Part 1 of this three-part series first.

Here are the next five things on my list of things to look for when choosing your future husband....

5) He needs to handle anger and disagreements appropriately. Everyone gets angry at some point. But we need to be slow to anger - having a quick and fiery temper can be a recipe for trouble. The emotion of anger is not necessarily a sin. What we do with that anger is also important. Does he last out in hurtful words? Does he become violent in any way? Does he simply not deal with his anger at all? Does he withdraw or bottle up his anger? All of those are major red flags! Rather he should try to calmly talk it through, he should pray for the person/situation. He should try to resolve the situation and seek a solution to the problem. He should be willing to compromise his own desires in order to resolve issues, but he should not be willing to compromise his values or beliefs.

6) He needs to take responsibility for his own actions. Everyone makes mistakes. An immature and selfish man will tend to blame someone else for his mistakes and avoid taking ownership of his choices. A mature man, a man you want to be married to, will be able to admit when he has done wrong, take personal responsibility for his wrong choice, ask for forgiveness and make restitution when necessary.

7) He needs to have a servant heart in order to be a servant leader. Marriage is a big adjustment. You can no longer make decisions based on what is best for you alone, you now have to make decisions based on what is best for both of you. And nothing reveals selfishness more than having children! The man you choose to marry needs to have a servant heart. He needs to be able to set aside his own desires if that is what’s best for his family. You want a man who will want to do whatever he can for you out of love for you. How can you tell before you marry him if he will have this servant heart? By observing how he is with other people. He should be empathetic towards people and their troubles, willing to offer a helping hand when he can. He should be generous with his time and money. In short, he needs to be unselfish, willing to put other’s needs ahead of his own.

8) He needs to have things in common with you. The saying opposites attract is not always true. It depends what you’re opposite about! This doesn’t mean that you need to enjoy all the same hobbies – but you need to be ok with the ones he has, because that’s not going to change when you get married. It’s ok for married couples to do some things separately, but more often than not, you want to do things together. This also doesn’t mean that you have to have the same views on everything – but you definitely need to agree on your core values and beliefs and any other issues you consider to be major ones.

9) He needs to be willing to change, but you cannot expect him to change. Everyone has weaknesses and you can’t expect him to be perfect. You have to decide if his weaknesses are ones you’re willing to live with forever. Yes, he could change, and he should change if he is desiring to grow in his walk with God. But you cannot marry someone with the expectation that he will change a specific weakness or character flaw after you get married. Marriage never solves problems – in fact it usually makes the problems worse. And becoming parents makes the problems worse yet. He does need to be willing to change. Similar to #8 – he needs to recognize his own flaws, be willing to take responsibility for them, and then be willing to do the work necessary to change them. However, you cannot make him change and there’s no guarantee that he will.


Stay tuned next week for the conclusion to this 3-part series. (And, yes, I know I'll be in Orlando next Monday - gotta love scheduled posting capabilities!)

13 Things to Look for when Choosing a Husband - Part 1

My friend Pam recently created an incredible birthday book for her firstborn's 13th birthday. It's a book of wishes, prayers, advice, etc, from meaningful people in her life that her daughter can look to, especially during the turbulant teen years. A book that will remind her of all the people who care about her, and have invested in her life. A book of advice, a book of humour, a book of memories, a book of encouragement. I think this is just such a fabulous idea. Her daughter brought it to church this past Sunday and I got a little peak at the finished product and it turned out absolutely amazing! I think I may be copying this idea for my own kids.

Anyway, now that the book is no longer a surprise, I'm going to post my submission to this wonderful project. It turned out to be pretty long, so I think I'll break this down into 3 posts and post one every Monday for the next 3 weeks. Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, as there are definitely more than 13 things to consider in a husband, but I dare to say, if he fits the bill for all 13 on the list, things are certainly headed in the right direction.

So, without further ado, may I present.....

13 Things to Look for When Choosing Your Future Husband

Happy 13th birthday Kiandra! I am honoured that your parents asked me to contribute to this special book. They love you so much and I know you will treasure this gift forever.

Nathan and I happen to be married for 13 years now, and I thought I would share with you 13 things to look for in choosing your future husband. Other than your choice to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, choosing your husband is the most important decision you will ever make. With that in mind, only date someone you would seriously consider marrying. The purpose of dating is to find a suitable husband. “Falling in love” causes you to ignore red flags, to ignore advice from concerned family and friends, and to excuse inappropriate behavior because you are looking through rose-coloured glasses. Keeping things at a friendship level is vitally important until you are sure he possesses all the qualities you are looking for. With that in mind, here are 13 things to look for in a future husband…

1) He must be passionate about continuing to grow in his personal relationship with Jesus. Do not assume that just because he goes to church that he is a Christian. Do not assume that because he is a Christian that he is committed to continuing to grow in his faith. The only way you can discern this is by getting to know him on a friendship level, watching how he interacts with those around him (especially his family – as we are most ourselves in front of the people who know us best), listening to the advice of your parents and other wise (older) friends and family and other people whose opinion you respect (youth leader, pastor, etc). The Bible is clear that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers – choosing to do so will only result in heartache. He needs to be passionate about his relationship with God, willing to challenge you to grow in your own faith, and to be the spiritual leader of your home. This does not mean that he has to be outgoing. But he cannot use a shy personality as an excuse not to lead.

2) Make sure your parents approve of your choice. I know that sounds old fashioned. But your parents are wise people. They love you more than anyone else in the world does, and they have loved you before you were even born. They have prayed for you and your future spouse, they have poured into your life and invested in you like no one else has. No other people in this world want you to succeed in life and to have a godly and fulfilling marriage more than your parents do. They are older and wiser than you and will be able to see red flags much easier than you will be able to. Respect your parents and seek their blessing in your choice of a marriage partner.

3) A sense of humour goes a long way baby! Though this isn’t necessarily a high priority and is really more of a personal preference, having a sense of humour certainly makes life easier and a lot more fun! Marriage is not always easy, life is not always easy. Being able to look at things with a sense of humour, being able to laugh at yourself, being able to joke around together and have fun together is important. Sometimes there’s nothing to do but laugh or cry – and laughing is so much more fun! Of course, there is a line here as well – the sense of humour should not be at someone else’s expense. People can hide a lot of insecurities by insulting other people and masking it in a joke. Virtually everyone makes fun of other people at some point – but it should never be cruel or crude. An appropriate sense of humour is a great asset in a future husband!

4) He needs to be respectful. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat others – especially their family and their elders. I mentioned this in a previous point, but people are the most themselves around their family or other people who know them best. They have nothing to hide – these people know their every character flaw. It is especially important to see how he treats his mother, as this is a pretty good indicator of how he will treat you. He needs to have respect for all people – no matter their gender, race, social status, age or anything else. He needs to see all people as the image bearers of God that they are and treat them that way.



There ya have it - the first 4 things on my list of 13 to look for when choosing your future husband. Stay tuned for Part 2 next Monday.