Wednesday, 26 September 2007

An odd day

Today is an odd day.

Today is the original due date of the baby I miscarried in February.

I say it's odd because it's a sad day because I miss my baby. And yet, there is another baby growing in my womb - a baby that would not be here if I hadn't lost my other one. And I'm happy about this baby. And sad about the other one. Both at the same time.

It's hard to wrap my head around that one.

Olivia (our 3rd daughter) also would not exist had I not miscarried between her and Sophia. We would have a different baby - but it wouldn't be Olivia. And that is weird too. Because I love Olivia with all of my being, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

And so it is an odd day. I rejoice for the baby I carry right now. And I long for the baby I lost that may have been born today. (Considering the fact that 2 of our 3 were actually due date babies, that would've been an actual possibility). So today is a day where joy and grief are mingled.

My best friend sent me flowers and a card today that said...

3 loveable ones to hug
2 in Jesus' arms today
1 in the womb growing, equals
6 blessings from God.

I think she summed it up quite well. Thank you Candace.

And, if it's possible, I pray ....

Jesus, please tell my babies I love them.

6 comments:

andrea said...

I'm sorry that you are having such emotional day, blessed yet grieving. Thank you for your honesty, it helps me try to grasp and feel your pain . Your dear friend described your blessings in a very beautiful way, each one is so precious...
You are Loved so much. I'll be praying for you as your pain is great and your joy is growing.

Andrea said...

I don't know how losing a baby feels, but I know that it would be terribly difficult. Especially on days like today when the baby would've been due.

I'm excited to meet this new little one though.

((hugs))

ValleyGirl said...

I had no idea you'd lost two little ones, but I certainly understand the conflicted emotions of having an 'empty' due date and a new date not far in the future that you're excited about. Very bittersweet and hard on the emotions. You'll be in my prayers tonight.

Chelsea Rae said...

Just wanted to let you know I am praying for you today!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Tammy,
I know how you feel.
I lost a baby in March and my due date is coming up at the end of October. As I watch my other 2 friends anticipate the arrival of their little ones (around the same time) a part of my heart always aches. While I want to be happy for them, a part of me is still sad.
The only thing that helps for me is prayer, and I know that God is listening.
I thank God that you were able to conceive again so quickly and that this little one will bring lots of joy into your home.
(You know me, but I am not ready to share this info yet with the world so I will leave an anonymous post.)

TammyIsBlessed said...

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

I have to say - I'm now really curious as to who anonymous is. :) But don't worry, I totally understand your desire for privacy at this time.

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