Thursday, 21 April 2011

Book Review: Daddy Dates by Greg Wright

About the Book: Daddy Dates gives the average Joe easy steps to actively and successfully engage with his daughter and raise a confident woman-to-be.

When faced with the reality of raising four (4!) teen daughters, Greg Wright went on a soul quest.

He came back with a mission: Don’t Screw Up.

This funny, insightful, and relatable book poses the wildly original concept that should be a “duh” for most dads—but isn’t: In order to raise a confident woman-to-be, show your daughter what it feels like to be treated with love, respect, and true interest by a man who loves her.

Daddy Dates shows the average father how to actually do that. It is written in an original voice and will appeal to both men and women. It is the kind of action-oriented “how to” material that guys enjoy, and so many others will recommend to other dads.

My thoughts: Our culture does not respect the role of the father very much these days. In pretty much any sitcom you watch, the dad is often the butt of the jokes and simply a lazy and uninvolved parent while Supermom pulls it off without any help from Loserdad. Society has made it seem like the role of the father is not that important.

But nothing could be further from the truth. Daughters learn how men are supposed to treat them by the way their father treats them. A girl's relationship with her dad will have a huge impact on her self-esteem and how she sees herself as a person in general and a woman in particular. (A father's role in his son's life is just as vital, but the book is geared to father/daughter relationships so I'm not getting into that here).

Unfortunately, many dads (and moms for that matter) simply don't know exactly what to do. If that's where you're at, this book is for you!

A quick and easy read, this book is filled with great ideas about pursuing a relationship with your daughter.

From the book....

I believe it's the job of every husband and father to understand that his job - perhaps his most important job - is to be the pursuer. Not just at the beginning, but all the way through... Doesn't matter their age. Girls want us to discover their specialness, praise it, and treasure it.

Wright's solution was to pursue daughter knowing (getting to know her as a person, what she thinks about things - which means how she feels!) by dating them - showing them how a sincere guy treats a girl he's genuinely interested in getting to know.

The book includes date ideas, as well as a personality quiz to help father's get to know their daughters and what types of dates would be special for them, as well as their personality type's strengths, weaknesses, communication style and needs. This includes doing a lot more listening than talking. And recognizing that girls do not want their problems solved, they want to share their problems with someone they trust.

Talk + Action + Time = Trust

Once you've built a solid relationship with your kids and they know they can trust you, it will make it easier in those times when you need to exert your parental authority, especially when they are in disagreement with you.

The Wright family has determined that they don't allow dating in high school - "In high school we don't have boyfriends. We don't do ownership. We do friendship, and that's it". When his daughters turn 13 he takes them on a very special date where he presents them with "a pretty ring to wear on her left hand so she will remember that I am giving her my heart (in a parental way), promising to be her guide in life, and will take care of her financially and emotionally until she's an independent woman or married". When her future husband asks permission to marry her, that's when the ring will come off - symbolizing a "transition of care".

This book is an easy read, geared to men, and not very long. Though written from a Christian perspective, it is not preachy and would be valuable for parents of any/no faith. I highly recommend it!

Thank you to Booksneeze for providing me with my complimentary review copy of Greg Wright's Daddy Dates.

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